


the food collective

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, Super Junior
Genre: Gen, Gyuwon, Wonkyu, changwon, non-au, somehow this series turned into everyone makes siwon dinner, wonmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-07-27 17:19:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: "What nicer thing can you do for somebody than make them breakfast?" - Anthony BourdainA collection of cooking ficlets in an attempt to make the world a softer place.





	1. index

siwon / changmin:

  * [순두부 찌개 (soft tofu stew)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223735/chapters/37922075) ; 1777 words | a little tofu soup is good for the hurting soul.



siwon / kyuhyun:

  * [to the end of the world (and back)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223735/chapters/42297839) ; 2136 words | life isn't the same without cho kyuhyun.




	2. siwon/changmin | 순두부 찌개 (soft tofu stew)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little tofu soup is good for the hurting soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [Aimee](https://twitter.com/choidimples)♡

The knock on Changmin’s door is so quiet that he almost misses it. Most of his visitors ring the bell, a loud chime that rings through his entire apartment, but this visitor has chosen not to. Changmin sets the knife he’d been using down on the cutting board, washes his hands, and walks over to the door while wiping his hands on his apron. 

When he opens the door, his heart nearly breaks at the woeful sight. Siwon is standing there looking utterly forlorn, his face gaunt and his eyes dull. Changmin immediately ushers him in, taking his jacket and directing him to a pair of house slippers. 

“Come in, come in,” he says and gently guides Siwon into the apartment. He sits him down at one of the stools by the counter and immediately sets about pouring him a mug with hot tea. 

Siwon looks ragged, and Changmin has never seen him looking so lifeless. The usual vibrant energy surrounding him is gone, as if another soul is inhabiting Siwon’s body. He knows that the guilt of everything that happened last fall weighs heavily on Siwon’s heart, but he hadn’t realized the physical effects until now. He’s lost weight, that’s for certain, but even the way he carries himself is different. Defeated and hurting, a shadow of his former self.

Siwon accepts the tea gratefully and offers Changmin a weak smile, and Changmin counts that as a victory. “You’re just in time,” he says, “I’m trying my hand at [soondubu jjigae](https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/sundubu-jjigae).”

“You’re cooking more these days,” Siwon remarks, and Changmin just nods.

“Working kitchen duty made me realize how much I enjoy it,” he says, going back to cutting up the pork needed for his dish. And it’s true. It’s one of the unexpected side effects from his enlistment period, but one that he has thoroughly enjoyed. Some of the division cooks were incredibly skilled, and Changmin had tried to learn everything he could from them before coming home and enrolling in cooking classes. He remembers spending time trying new recipes right when he had moved out on his own, but life had gotten busy and he’d resorted more and more to takeout and dining out. 

“You did really enjoy that,” Siwon muses. “I still remember the head cook reaming me out for not chopping onions correctly. I didn’t want to tell him that you don’t exactly learn that as an idol.”

Changmin chuckles. “I remember that too. It gave me time to fix my onions so they looks a little less wonky.”

Siwon nods, and Changmin realizes that even though they finished their mandatory service months ago, it still seems like yesterday they were pulling on their police uniforms while preparing for another set of drills. 

He’d been grateful to enlist with Siwon. In a lot of ways, Siwon and Yunho had similar personalities that made it easier for Changmin to slip into a comfortable rhythm with both. Yet Siwon was different, expressing his care and concern for others in different ways than Yunho. He never hesitated to encourage Changmin with a smile, a thumbs up, and a “let’s do this together,” and even in the throes of difficult drills or early mornings, Siwon would always be waiting for Changmin with shining eyes and a pat on the back. 

It had been no secret that Donghae had hated his enlistment period, so much so that he’d fallen ill at the beginning due to stress. Changmin couldn’t blame him honestly; he himself had lost a significant amount of weight at the beginning due to anxiety about the uncertainty of it all. Yet somehow, Siwon had enough encouragement and kindness to keep them both afloat through their service periods, to the point that Changmin had almost begun to enjoy his time in the military. 

The two of them had grown close, and Changmin had been grateful that that closeness had continued following their discharge. They’d shared books that they were reading, met up for coffee with their fellow policemen following their own discharges, and often reminisced about their enlistment experiences. They’d known each other for eons, of course, but this had brought a whole new aspect to their friendship.

And that’s why it feels so painful to see Siwon so dejected and beaten down. Changmin had seen Siwon beaming from ear to ear even after the most grueling of drills, so even the sight of his pallid complexion signals to Changmin that something is very wrong.

Something  _ is _ , but there’s nothing Changmin can do to fix it. There’s nothing  _ anyone _ can do to fix it, and that’s perhaps what makes it worse. 

It had been Siwon who had made the decision to sit out from all Super Junior activities, and Changmin hadn’t realized how isolating that could be. Siwon had shared his revised schedule with Changmin a few weeks ago, and the activities truly were sparse. A filming here, a drama event there. Changmin hadn’t really realized exactly what it meant to sit on the sidelines from Super Junior activities until both Siwon and Kyuhyun had expressed the longing that came along with it.  _ “It’s like seeing a place that you should be with people you should be with, but nobody can even acknowledge that you’re missing,” _ Kyuhyun had said. And that had wrenched Changmin’s heart in two.

They’d started with phone calls, Changmin calling to check up on him every so often. He’d tried to get Siwon to try out some new restaurants with him, but Siwon had been so terrified of appearing in public that he’d been unsuccessful. Thus, this compromise: Changmin would cook at his apartment so they could eat together out of the prying eyes of the public.

Once he has his ingredients prepared, Changmin places two earthenware pots on the stove to heat them up. Siwon gets up from his stool and comes closer to watch Changmin’s movements. “I’ve seen this made a million times,” he says, “but I’ve never paid any attention until now.” He watches as Changmin adds the onion and garlic to the pots, stirring until the aroma fills the kitchen. He adds the pork pieces next, and Changmin feels his stomach grumble at the sound of sizzling meat.

The kimchi and anchovy stock are added next, and he pours the stock into one pot while handing the measuring up to Siwon to fill the other. 

“Did you make this yourself?” Siwon asks as they wait for the soup to boil.

Changmin nods, motioning to the pile of anchovies sitting in the strainer to the side. “It was fairly easy,” he says, “but you can also probably buy it.”

Changmin tidies up as they wait, and Siwon offers to help. They discard the anchovies and the seaweed, and Changmin wipes down his workspace as Siwon washes the dishes. It’s comfortable, Changmin thinks, and he notices that Siwon looks visibly more relaxed than when he had first walked in.

He takes a tube of soft tofu out from the fridge and directs Siwon to salt and sugar the soups as he snips the container open. Carefully, he adds the tofu to the soups, trying his best not to spill onto the stovetop. Hot pepper is added next, followed by an egg cracked into each pot. Changmin pulls a few containers of side dishes out of the fridge and hands them to Siwon to take over to the table. He scoops rice into bowls and sets them on a tray, and then, using oven mitts, he sets both soup pots down as well and follows after him.

They sit down at Changmin’s dining table, Siwon ducking his head at the beginning for a silent prayer of thanks for the meal. Changmin distributes the cutlery for both of them, and then they eat. 

“Wow,” Siwon says after a spoonful. “This is amazing, Shim!” He takes another bite, and Changmin breathes a sigh of relief. It’s good to see Siwon eating, even if just for one meal.

They talk comfortably as they drink their soup, and Siwon even laughs at one of Changmin’s comments. It’s not his full-bodied laugh with eyes crinkling and mouth open, but it’s a start. Even a little raindrop is welcome after a season of drought. With each bite, Siwon becomes a little more animated and a little more like his former self, and Changmin resolves to start making more soups.

He remembers feeling like his world had shattered into a million pieces and feeling like nothing would ever be right again. He’d lost weight during that time too for after years of eating together with the other four and their staffs, it had been far too lonely and depressing to eat alone. Kyuhyun had been the one to invite him over for takeout and wine, and Changmin remembers the simple comfort of sitting across from someone during a meal. It’s that feeling that he tries to recreate for Siwon, the comfort of knowing that someone is there, that someone cares, and that someone is fighting your battles with you.

They finish their soup and carry the dishes back to the kitchen. Changmin tells Siwon to leave the dishes, and they head into Changmin’s library instead. Siwon examines each title, commenting on the ones he’s read and paging through the ones he hasn’t. “I’d like to borrow this one,” he says, pulling out a volume, and Changmin nods his approval.

“We can talk about it over another soup,” Changmin says.

“I’d like that,” Siwon replies, his voice as earnest and genuine as always.

They say goodbye with a hug, and Changmin makes him promise to text him when he starts reading the book. “It’s one of my favorites,” he says. “I think you’ll enjoy it.”

The Siwon that leaves Changmin’s apartment is a bit brighter than the Siwon that arrived. He offers Changmin a small smile, and Changmin sees a flicker of light in Siwon’s eyes. 

It’s a simple thing, Changmin thinks, making a meal for someone. Everyone has to eat, but there’s something inherently intimate about eating food that someone has prepared for you. He’s never been good with words, and words are so easily faked. Yet food is something that Changmin thinks is always genuine, and he hopes that Siwon could feel his support through his unspoken words.

He’s just about finished cleaning up the kitchen when his phone dings.

[siwonchoi] I’ve started the book

[siwonchoi] :^)

[siwonchoi] Thanks, Shim! [sunflower]

[siwonchoi] And thanks… For everything.

Changmin smiles. This may be a long road ahead, but at least Siwon knows that he’s not alone on the journey.

[changmin88] You’re welcome.

[changmin88] Budae jjigae next time?

[siwonchoi] [thumbs up]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The recipe is from [Maangchi](https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/sundubu-jjigae).
> 
> As always, comments are love ♡
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/plincess_cho) // [tumblr](plincess-cho.tumblr.com)


	3. siwon/kyuhyun | to the end of the world (and back)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life isn't the same without Cho Kyuhyun.

It’s Kyuhyun who invites him over for dinner, a thank-you for the wine he knows that Siwon brought back for him from Chile. He promises that he’s improved since the only cooking incident anyone in Super Junior seems to remember ( _ “I’d never made ramen for 13 people!” _ Kyuhyun always squawks whenever they bring it up.) Siwon agrees to meet him at the dorms between filmings. Who is he to turn down home-cooked food?

The elevator lets him out on the sixth floor, and Siwon walks down to the familiar door on the right. He knows the passcode--at this point, the entire country might as well know the passcode--but he knocks anyways. He’s always felt awkward just walking into someone else’s home. The members had always teased him about this when the others had all lived together, but old habits die hard. 

Siwon’s face breaks into a grin the moment the door opens. Kyuhyun’s standing there in sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt looking like he hasn’t gone anywhere all day, and he probably hasn’t. He doesn’t work weekends anymore, and the winter weather is starting to get to all of them. 

“Hey,” Kyuhyun says. “So you survived your trip to the end of the world?”

Siwon nods. “Barely.” The door shuts behind him, and he trades his shoes for house slippers and hangs his coat.

Kyuhyun relieves him of the bag containing the wine and leads Siwon back towards the kitchen. Siwon grimaces a bit as Kyuhyun pulls the bottle out of the bag clearly marked with the airport’s duty free logo. They hadn’t had as much time in Chile as expected, especially with Leeteuk being sick, so Siwon had had to make do. And since he’d started filming nearly the minute he’d gotten back, he hadn’t had time to rewrap the bottle into something a little more presentable.

Kyuhyun doesn’t seem to even notice the bag, immediately examining the bottle’s label. He pulls out his phone to scan the label before nodding approvingly. “This was a good year,” he says. “I’ll look forward to drinking it.” He opens the door to the wine fridge and slides the bottle into a space.

Siwon just nods. At least the man in the duty free store hadn’t led him astray. “What are you making?” he asks, sniffing in the direction of the stove.

“[Gyudon](https://www.justonecookbook.com/gyudon/),” Kyuhyun replies, and Siwon laughs.

“Gyu’s gyudon?”

That earns him a snort from Kyuhyun and a reluctant smile. “So tell me about Chile,” he says, opening the fridge and pulling out ingredients. 

“Chile was…” Siwon thinks for a moment. It was a whirlwind, to be completely honest. He’d spent most of the time making sure that Leeteuk didn’t die in transit and the rest of the time following Donghae and Hyukjae around the city. The weather had been warm, a welcome break from the winter in Seoul. And yet, it had still felt completely foreign. 

It had been different from the time they’d been there together. Kyuhyun had gone for Music Bank in 2012 without Siwon, they’d both gone for Super Show 5 in 2013, and now Siwon had gone without Kyuhyun. It had been weird, going with so few members. Things had changed so dramatically since they had gone last, and Siwon had wondered if they’d ever be able to return.

“Weird” is the word he settles on.

Kyuhyun looks up from slicing onions to give him a quizzical look. “How so?”

Without even hesitating, Siwon replies, “It’s not the same without you.” 

It’s true. Coming back from the army had been weird on its own, like all the members who had been discharged before him had warned. He remembers Leeteuk returning and how long it had taken him to adjust back into the idol life. It had been weeks if not months before he had been able to fully return to Super Junior’s Leeteuk instead of ROKA soldier Park Jungsoo. For Siwon, it had been the same: He had gone from dancing to a few Super Junior songs with Changmin and their fellow officers in between drills and police duties to returning to a partial group that had already recording most of their next album without him. He hadn’t wanted to go back right away, petitioning the company to let him do some volunteer work first, and then… 

And then the great tragedy had happened, and he’d spent the next six months in hiding. And coming back from that had been an even bigger adjustment than being discharged from the military.

To his credit, Kyuhyun doesn’t roll his eyes like he would have had they been on camera. They have all their variety personas, and his is the sharp-tongued tsundere with a quick wit and no loyalty. It’s an act, partially: Siwon’s known him long enough to know that underneath that veneer is a warm-hearted boy who will support those he loves through thick and thin.

Kyuhyun had been one of the few who had really shown up during his unexpected hiatus. It had been weird not hearing his voice in their new songs, but it had been an immense blessing to have Kyuhyun sitting out with him. He’d been waiting backstage when Siwon had slinked in, trying not to catch the attention of any fans or anti-fans. The members had all greeted him and thanked him for coming, but they’d all been hustled off to get mic’ed up for the recording. 

Yet Kyuhyun had been there, waiting with a hug and a sad smile. They’d sat backstage with the pretense of watching the others perform, but Kyuhyun had put the monitor on mute almost immediately. “I’ve heard this song too many times in the past week,” he’d said, trying to ease the mood. Instead, he’d shifted the conversation to talking about  _ Revolutionary Love _ and his thoughts on the plot. It had been comforting for the most part: Kyuhyun had always been the one to watch all of his acting projects and send him his comments. 

They’d talked about the drama for a bit before Siwon had asked Kyuhyun about his own service. Kyuhyun had grimaced but had told him all about it anyways, detailing his work at the library, the side projects he had been working on, and the trips he had been planning for the next few months. For a little while, Siwon had been able to forget about everything that had happened and had been able to laugh along with Kyuhyun. It had been freeing, and Siwon had treasured those few moments dearly.

“Look,” Kyuhyun had said quietly right as the members were reentering the dressing room. “If you ever need to talk or escape or… I’m here.”

Siwon had given him a grateful smile before the others claimed both of their attention.

As Kyuhyun finishes with the onions and moves onto the scallions, Siwon hears him say softly, “Now you know how it felt going without you.”

That had been years ago: Siwon had been filming and hadn’t been able to take time off to fly across the world. He’d figured nobody would really miss him anyways. After all, they’d filled in for him on promotions before and the fans hadn’t complained too much. 

But Kyuhyun had missed him. The others had told Siwon about how he’d spent half their free time poking into stores, looking for the perfect refrigerator magnets to bring back. Upon his return, he’d proudly gifted Siwon with a Chilean magnet and a note  [ “To: Shiyuan.” ](https://twitter.com/siwonchoi/status/277268480875720704) It had been so thoughtful that he’d tweeted about it, his heart bursting with affection for Kyuhyun. 

With all of the ingredients ready, Kyuhyun puts the onions into a frying pan, and a delicious aroma fills the kitchen. Before long, he adds the meat and the seasonings, leaving them to simmer for a bit.

“Are you ready to come back? Siwon asks.

To his surprise, Kyuhyun thinks for a moment. “I think I am,” he says finally. “I’ve enjoyed having more time to do things, but…”

“But you really miss singing?”

Kyuhyun nods. Siwon gets it: Kyuhyun has wanted to be a singer ever since he was a kid, and he’s almost had that dream stolen from him more than a few times. There had been the accident of course, and Siwon’s heart still aches when he thinks about it. Then there had been the numerous other surgeries, most recently for vocal nodules. The doctors had assured them all that it was a routine surgery, nothing to be worried about, but Siwon remembers how anxious he had been beforehand. He’d tried to laugh it off when he’d told them about it during his visit to the police headquarters, but they’d all seen right through him. 

_ “I’ll be praying for your surgery,” _ Siwon had whispered when hugging him goodbye. Kyuhyun had held him for just a moment longer, arms tightening in response.

“I miss hearing you sing,” Siwon admits. “It’s not the same without you,” he repeats.

“Just pretend it’s debut era again,” Kyuhyun says with a smirk. He cracks the eggs and beats them with chopsticks before pouring them over the beef and onion combination. “Only with better hair.”

“Less hair,” Siwon says, and they both chuckle. 

At last, Kyuhyun pours the contents of the frying pan over two bowls of rice, and they carry them over to the table. Siwon prays over the food, and then they dig in.

“This is good!” he exclaims appreciatively.

“Don’t sound so shocked,” Kyuhyun replies, but he’s smiling.

They spend the rest of the time talking about Siwon’s upcoming drama, with Kyuhyun all but begging him for spoilers. Siwon knows he shouldn’t divulge too much, but it’s hard not to give in to Kyuhyun’s pleading. He’d never been able to resist Kyuhyun: After the accident, they’d all warmed up to him immensely and had all doted on him ever since. 

The accident had hit Siwon particularly hard. He’d felt guilty for not paying much attention to Kyuhyun before, even though he’d been so busy he’d barely had time to sleep. He’d been shaken by the realization that someone his age could die so young, and it had taken him months to work through that. After Kyuhyun had made it through the first critical nights without dying, Siwon had resolved to always take better care of Kyuhyun in the future, and he had done his best to support him in every way possible, from making sure he’d had enough to eat to watching over him during their time in China to  [ cheering on his solo debut ](https://sup3rjunior.com/2014/11/14/141114-siwon-weibo-update-in-gwanghwamun-recording-successfully-completed/) .

They wash the dishes together and spend a bit more time discussing the very important topic of who would beat who in a battle (Bruce Lee at his peak or young Jackie Chan after five energy drinks) before Siwon’s phone dings, reminding him that he has a filming in a half hour. He walks himself to the entryway to bundle up to go back out into the cold while Kyuhyun disappears into his bedroom. He returns with a book and hands it to Siwon. 

“Changmin gave this to me to give back to you,” he says. “He really enjoyed it and says one of his managers might know the author.”

Siwon takes the book back, a paperback about personal health management. He’d read it awhile ago and had lent it to Changmin a few weeks back. “Tell him thanks,” he says, giving Kyuhyun a smile. 

He slides his feet into his shoes and zips up his jacket, before pulling his scarf up over his nose. Kyuhyun grimaces. “Is it really that cold out?”

Siwon nods, and Kyuhyun shudders. “Hold on,” he says and disappears again. He reappears with two small packets and rips them each open. He gives the packets a shake before handing them to Siwon. “Can’t have our Hollywood actor freezing to death before he even makes his big debut,” he says, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

Siwon gratefully accepts the hot packs and slips them into his coat pockets. “Thank you,” he says. “For dinner, for the hot packs…”  _ For everything _ is what remains unspoken.

“You’re welcome,” Kyuhyun says. “Thanks for the wine…”  _ And for everything else. _

Siwon hugs him before pulling open the door and letting himself out into the hallway. The door closes behind him, and Siwon stands there for a brief moment, savoring the warmth of the evening. As he turns to go, he hears a familiar voice singing the opening lines to the song Kyuhyun recorded for the OST for one of his dramas. 

Siwon takes the elevator down to meet his manager who’s parked outside the apartment complex’s foyer, his heart warmer than the heat packs in his pockets. 

He can’t wait to have Kyuhyun back with the rest of the members. Only a few months more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The recipe is from [Just One Cookbook.](https://www.justonecookbook.com/gyudon/)
> 
> As always, comments are love ♡
> 
> [twitter](twitter.com/plincess_cho) // [tumblr](plincess-cho.tumblr.com)


End file.
